regrets.... yeah-- HA!

"i've got a delicate mind
i've got a dangerous nature
my face collides
with your furniture"

little Annie Lennox/Eurythmics there. Song called, you guessed it-- "Regrets"

i keep telling myself that my biggest regrets are not those of action but of inaction-- rarley do i regret what i have done. often do i regret what i have NOT done...

i got invited to go to Boston for this big fettish flea market-- invited to teach a bootblacking seminar. but since this was the last weekend before X-Mas and i work retail, i wasn't able to get enough time off to go for the full weekend. Sigh. i told the presenters that i couldn't do it. a friend of mine who was going anyway and (in HER words) would have been my Igor taught the class. we wrote a handout together for the class, and a few hours before the class she called me with some last minute questions.

But less than a week before the event i realizedthat my work schedule would ACTUALLY kind of accomodate me going-- even though it would have been for one VERY HECTIC day... go to Boston saturday morning and then return to Milwaukee in time to wrok Sunday at noon... doable but a bit of a nightmare...

i decided "not worth the time/money/headache." but the "Rock Star" feel was appealing...

now i'm wishing that i had gone...

i'm just hoping that if i HAD gone, i would have regretted going...

i can't spend my life second-guessing the choices that i have made. i can try to learn from them, but that's just a fancy way of saying "you know you'll make the wrong choice again..."

recently i realized that i am DRAWN to bad choices-- "should i have another beer? NO. WILL i have another beer? HELL YEAH!" (as an over-simplified example...) going to Boston wasn't a BAD choice, but not a logical choice-- so the more i wanted to go, the more i decided that maybe THIS was one of those "bad choices" that i tend to be drawn to.

and i'm going to DC for MId Atlantic Leather in a few weeks-- i've got plenty of opportunities to make bad choices there...